EXT.RECORDING STUDIO-DAY
‍
LOLIE TUDOR, Saweetie’s manager, takes out her phone to film behind the scenes reels. She turns the phone to her.

LOLIE
Howdy doo, icy mamas! Lolie here,
bringing you behind the scenes on
Saweeties new, TBD titled track!
Right now, Saweetie’s destroying
the mic at Top Tier Records, I’m
sure. Let’s go!

She places the phone in her pocket.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Hoo! So excited, everyone!

We hear Lolie bump into a wall.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Geezies von sleezies!

Lolie approaches the recording studio door.We hear a SECURITY
GUARD cough.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Lolie Tudor?

SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
No sesh,today little miss.

LOLIE
What in my garden? No, no,I
reserved this time today, for
Saweetie, thank you.

Lolie attempts to walk past. Security guard scans her and
laughs.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Yes it’s weird she hired me...I
know. Am I too early? I shot for 7
minutes instead of 10 minutes
before to you know...seem more
chill?

Security Guard continues to laugh. A MUSIC PRODUCER peaks
their head out the door.

MUSIC PRODUCER
Lolie!

LOLIE
Bunny!

MUSIC PRODUCER
Saweetie called out sick. Bit by a
tick...again.
‍
LOLIE
Oh!

Takes out phone, forgetting she was still filming.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
(To music producer) And she forgot
to mention this to me because?
(Looks at phone, notices live
stream and screams. Whispers) Hi
everyone.

MUSIC PRODUCER
Song’s gotta be done by tomorrow.
We’re gonna need you in the booth.

LOLIE
Please don’t make me do that.


INT.RECORDING BOOTH-DAY

‍
Lolie walks in, Producer pours Hennessy down her throat.

MUSIC PRODUCER (V.O.)
Lolie, you got it, baby. Shake that
ass and?

LOLIE
(Chokes) What?!

MUSIC PRODUCER
And be what?

LOLIE
I don’t--

MUSIC PRODUCER
Be a--

LOLIE
Sawee-wee never taught me this

MUSIC PRODUCER
Be a--

LOLIE
I’ll guess...bad bitch?

Producers, fellow artists cheer. Beat starts. By the entire
team, Lolie gets pushed into the booth. She dances a “spaz in
the news” kinda Macarena.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Yeah, yeah. Icy. Icy... to the
wifey.Cheering continues, “come on Lolie!”

LOLIE (CONT’D)
(Screams) I’m pretty and hot and my
skin glows!

Music ceases.

MUSIC PRODUCER
Lolie, girl. You gotta ten toe it.

LOLIEYes, yes. I’m 78% sure I understand
you.

MUSIC PRODUCER
(Eye roll) You need to stomp your
feet and embody the Ice Queen.

Lolie strikes a look of confusion.

MUSIC PRODUCER (CONT’D)
Your client.

LOLIE
Most.....uh...dapper!
‍
MUSIC PRODUCER
Just kick it again.(Yells to sound
team) Kilo!

Music starts.

LOLIE
Oh. As in asap. (Mimics Michelle
Tanner) You got it studio dude!

MUSIC PRODUCER
Stomp to it!

Lolie scurries into the booth.She attempts to hype herself
up.

LOLIE
Stomping to it. Yeah. I’m a rapper.
Yeah. Yeah. And a female one at that.

Beat drops.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
I am indeed Saweetie, I am indeed
Saweetie! Da da da da.....I could
possibly let you uh...take me out
for lunch.
‍
Beat ceases once more.

LOLIE (CONT’D)
Tell me what I’m doing wrong,
coach! I feel like I enticed the
quote on quote “track”. All the way
to... well...pussy freedom? (Looks
to sound team) Fellas?

MUSIC PRODUCER (V.O.)
(Turns to lead sound guy) Alright,
Kilo. T-Pain this bitch.

Music starts again. Lolie gets prepped. She magically
transforms into a “bad bitch”, as in everything you could
fathom; clothes, makeup, the whole look...as a white female
that is. Lolie gets into it (yuh). She jumps in place. No beat
begins.

LOLIE
Uh. Come on. Don’t test me Ronnie. I got it now.

MUSIC PRODUCER #2
Who’s Ronnie?

Music Producer shakes the question off with a shoo. Beat
resumes.

LOLIE
Icy. Yeah. Flow long, cash long,
let him taste it on my thong.
Absolutely every woman, put a ring
on Chaka Kahn. Avalanching with this money, sweep
it up with a Zamboni (pronounced
“zam-bunny”) might just dip you in
this honey get that throat waxed
out,(SCREAMS) WHORE!

MUSIC PRODUCER #2
Get that throat waxed out?

MUSIC PRODUCER
Let it happen. Lolie!

Music Producer runs to the booth.

MUSIC PRODUCER (CONT’D)
THAT’S OUR ICY SPICY BITCH,BITCH!
‍
Lolie smiles too largely and penny drops it.
‍
SHOT FREEZES ON LOLIE DOING A BACK BEND. EVERYTHING TURNS
INTO AN AUTOTUNE COMMERCIAL.THERE IS A HOTLINE NUMBER ON THE
BOTTOM ALONG WITH THE AUTOTUNE SLOGAN “THIS IS TALENT TOO”
AND AUTOTUNE INSIGNIA IN THE CORNER.

‍