EXT.AT HOME SAUNA-NIGHT
We close in on an at-home sauna.
INT.AT HOME SAUNA-NIGHT
SAILOR and MIRA are on a first date in SAILOR’s at home
sauna. They are both sopping in sweat, panting heavily, and
sometimes laying in tandem in silence.
MIRA
So, you’ve done this before?
Sailor groans. Mira is transfixed in sweat to the point that
she has short term memory loss.There’s a lull.
MIRA (CONT’D)
You’ve done this before?
SAILOR
I told you I schvitz three times a
week. I told you that.Silence.
SAILOR (CONT’D)
Reduces the chance of heart attacks
by 30%. That’s quite the boost and
I got Wolf’s White so....pretty
lucrative shit.
MIRA
By 100%? Fuck and wow
you...(pants)...wow. really.
Mira leans against the infrared wall and is slightly burned but is benumbed to it entirely. She’s finished her thought.
Long beat.
SAILOR
Isn’t it rejuvenating?
Mira somewhat nods.
SAILOR (CONT’D)
What did you study at Cambridge? I
heard the joint’s snooty.
Mira falls off the bench and glances out the glass door.
MIRA
Why is your car on the outside?
SAILOR
Stop prevaricating! Your turn to
ask me something. Something real to
show me that you’re down-to-earth
so I can one day...(sentimental
moment)call you the one.
Moment for Mira to sweat back into reality.
MIRA
Okay. This is our first date.
SAILOR
(Enraged)Interrogate me to create
intimacy!She lifts her head up slightly.
MIRA
Where (dry cough) are you from.
SAILOR
Europe.Are you an auditory learner?
You must be seeing that I already
TOLD YOU THAT FUN FACT ABOUT
MYSELF!
MIRA
Really? You just look white--
Mira head plummets.She goes unconscious.
SAILOR
I thought this would be good for us
but clearly you can’t handle the
heat of my interest!
Sailor storms out. Mira stays unconscious.Sailor eventually
returns with a new bathing suit on. They lift Mira.
EXT.SAILOR’S BACK YARD-NIGHT
Sailor carries Mira and tosses her into the pool.
SAILOR
Cavalier bitch.
Mira somehow catapults her entire body into the air like a
humpback whale. She runs out of the pool and immediately
passes out again.